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Suicide Girls Photo Shoot @ the Nite Cap

by Rachel M.

Hello! Welcome to the nude photographs edition of The Loin's Mouth! I feel like I should give you a moment to study the photographs again. I've oggled them pretty extensively myself. For example, you can see her nipples in a couple of shots. I messed around with the idea of putting "CENSORED" over them or something, but it just seemed like such a dumb idea. In fact, I spent a lot of time messing with the contrast of the ass sushi since it was difficult to make out, but I'm guessing these finer details go largely unnoticed.

Anyway, its funny because I was talking to this guy over the summer and he told me he heard this "rumour" about how one time there was a Suicide Girl's photo shoot at the Nite Cap. I totally busted up laughing. If you've never had an event you participated in get absorbed into urban legend, it's a little surreal.

It took place maybe two and a half years ago before the first issue of The Loin's Mouth when Jedi Jenny still used to bartend there. Incidentally, those were damn fun times if you missed them. There were random neighborhood people, bike messengers, chicks making out, people dancing on the pool table, wild after parties, etc.¹

The attendees on the night in question were Jedi Jenny (the bartender); Jenny's ex-girlfriend, Marz (the photographer); Marz's current boyfriend, Josh (the lighting guy); our friend, Jerry (the caterer/prop guy); my friend, "Slasher Katie" (the model); and me, Rachel (hack journalist).

First of all, before we could all be comfortable, we had an orgy. Okay, not really. I wish I could tell you it was a wild night filled with gratuitous sex and violence, but in fact, nothing like that happened.

It was a Wednesday night, so we were all pretty much exhausted by the time we got there. Our friend LBC ("Legally Blind Chris") was also hanging out, but we asked him to leave since Katie didn't know him that well at the time. The irony, of course, is that he's worked at Mitchell Brothers Theater for probably four or five years, so essentially, we asked the only guy in the room who routinely works around naked women to go home. Also, there's a reason he's called "Legally Blind Chris." He's freaking blind.

Anyway, what mostly stands out about this night-far above the nudity-is the mindless, mindless conversation.

At one point, for example, I asked Jenny if she'd talked to our friend Kristoff recently.

"No, I haven't heard from him," she said. "I left him a message last week, but he never returned the call."

"Yeah, me, too," I said. "It's weird. That's so unlike him. I saw on the news that these kids were murdered up in Seattle, so I'm hoping that's not why."

"Oh my God, are you serious?"

"Yeah, this guy walked into a party with a rifle and just started blowing people away. They seemed like people Kristoff might know, so it made me worried for him since I haven't heard from him in a while."

"I saw Kristoff yesterday at school," said Josh (they were Academy of Art students at the time). "He was talking to one of our professors and then he just left without staying for class. I haven't seen him since."

"I wonder if he went to Seattle for the funerals?" I said. "There were like four people killed. It was totally crazy."

"Oh my god," said Jenny. "That's terrible."

And on and on-

Jenny finally heard from him like a week later and she starts out apologizing, "Oh Kristoff, I'm really sorry about your friends. I just want you to know I'm here if you need to talk about anything," etc, and of course Kristoff had no idea what she was talking about. Apparently, we manufactured that story out of sheer boredom.

The only other thing that happened that night was that we had to stop shooting for a minute because a crackhead was looking through the windows. We shooed him away, but eventually he came back with his friends, so we sent Josh across the street to get a sheet to tack up in the window. That was pretty much that.

I guess it's funny when you think about it... One of the dullest events in my life in the past few years revolves around an after hours nude photo shoot in a Tenderloin dive bar......... I guess we know how to party around here.

Enjoy the photos! ;)

¹ In fact, The Nite Cap is the birth place of The Loin's Mouth. Almost all of the original writers were people I met there, including my friend Randi who moved away recently but was an original crew member.