How to avoid accidentally going into the Mission

RULE #1: KNOW WHERE THE MISSION IS.

If you have a clear idea of the Mission’s boundaries, it is less likely that you will accidentally go there. The Mission’s boundaries are typically understood to be as follows, outlined in this map:

On the one hand, although certain streets such as "Sanchez" and "Arguello" are technically not in the Mission, a good rule of thumb is to avoid all Hispanic-sounding street names. After all, streets such as "Vicente" and "Cabrillo" are in equally pointless neighborhoods so avoiding them will be in your best interest.

Also, keep in mind that certain areas such as SOMA, Potrero Hill, Bernal Heights, and Noe Valley are located suspiciously near the Mission. Avoiding these neighborhoods will greatly reduce your risk of ending up at a variety of horrendous locations such as Blondies or the 16th Street BART Station.

RULE #2: REFUSE TO ASSOCIATE WITH PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN THE MISSION.

Associating with anyone who lives in the Mission– blood relatives–is really just a way of enabling the Mission–hipster lifestyle. According to our research, in addition to hipsters, a number of Mexican people also live in the Mission; however, because we can neither confirm nor deny this assertion, we recommend avoiding all Mexican–looking people. While on the one hand it’s possible that a percentage of these people are not Mexican and do not live in the Mission, the white belt phenomenon has become extremely widespread.

Your best defense is to simply refuse to have contact with anyone you suspect to have been in the Mission within the past few years or so.