Today, I got my first project for my Abnormal Psychology class. We have to go out in public and act mentally ill, then record the reactions we get from people. It must go on for a half hour or longer. Someone has almost gotten arrested for this project before. FML […]

Today, I woke up to the horrible sound of a car crash. Apparently, a car full of teenagers lost control of their car and had an accident in my driveway. My car got totalled. FML […]

Today, my daughter asked for a dollar to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck while I was on my computer working. Out of my wallet she took a fifty dollar bill. The ice cream man got a big tip before driving off. FML […]

Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate's alarm clock going off at 6:00 in the morning. His bedroom door was locked, and he was passed out in his bed from drinking too much. It rang continuously for five and a half hours before it finally ran out of batteries. FML […]

Today, my friends switched my girlfriend's number and my ex-girlfriend's number. Thinking I was texting my girlfriend, I said, "Babe, I can't wait to be with you tonight." She told my girlfriend, and now I'm single. FML […]